My best selling item next to albums is wall art. It is incredibly empowering to have artwork on your wall reminding you daily on how beautiful you are, and spouses love it as well. Beautiful artwork adorning bedrooms, bathrooms and dressing rooms, are in the homes of women.
But yes, it is not for everyone. Some prefer the privacy of an album to tuck away in a dresser, and that’s ok! It is common to hear from women is that they would love a gallery on their bedroom walls but will not, as their children enter it. Well, I get it. Nothing will horrify a teenager and get them out of your bedroom faster than a giant picture of their naked mother on the wall.
But here is a reason to consider putting on of those less racy images up on your wall.
Our culture raises our women to be self conscious and ashamed of ourselves, sexuality and unique beauty is taboo. North America is conservative and even considered prudish about nudity compared to the rest of the world. We as women, are taught at an early age to be insecure, ashamed, and unhappy with ourselves and our bodies. As a boudoir photographer, I see all shapes, sizes and ages of women, who feel they have to apologize for how they look, apologize for features they do or do not have. Gosh that is sad.
Its a spiral. Women who are negative and insecure about their bodies, pass that insecurity on to their children. Our beautiful children who we love dearly, are being damaged because they learn our behavior. They in turn are taught to hate themselves, by their mothers example.
If you act embarrassed and ashamed to be in a bathing suit – you will pass that insecurity on to your daughter. If you are constantly concerned about your weight – she will grow up thinking that is normal. If you hide your body, she will hide hers. YOU teach her this. You show her that she has faults, you show her to look for faults, by finding them in yourself. If you are constantly talking about how your bra size is too small, your legs are too short, your butt is too flat, or your curves are too curvy, etc, she will take your standards and think she has to fit them too. If you shame yourself, you shame her.
We all have known that ‘one women’ in a group, who complains out loud she is too fat. She brings out the insecurity of all the surounding women who now feel judged by her standards. We do this to our daughters.
Do you really want your child to grow up having all YOUR insecurities and negativity? Do you not want them to have a good role model and grow to be happy with who they are, and let themselves feel beautiful at any age, size or stage in life? Do you want your daughter to pass that onto her daughter?
So. Imagine walking by a portrait on your wall that makes you look amazing. A reminder of seeing yourself as beautiful. That’s at least part of why you had your photo shoot anyway. Now consider showing this gorgeous, classy photo of yourself – to your daughter. WITH PRIDE. She will remember that mothers and women can be proud of themselves and be secure. When she is a mother she will remember that, and it will help her esteem. If she sees her number one role model have self pride, she has a good foundation behind her and a better chance of being secure, more confident, and respecting herself for who she is.
The people who enter your bedroom, are those who love you. I promise they do not see you as a vein person. It is a hard habit to break, but I feel mothers need to at very least pretend out loud we accept ourselves, to save our daughters from our own fate.
I am not saying to hang a ‘suggestive’ picture on the wall. That’s for you to decide. (Hey, maybe it will keep your teenagers from sneaking in your room to steal your socks for a few years). Yet, many boudoir portraits are just gorgeous works of art on their own, and not very overtly ‘sexual.’ If you love a portrait like a beautiful piece of artwork, don’t go out of your way to hide it from them just because YOU are in it.
Young children who grow up walking by a beautiful picture might never even notice its of you. But if you tell a child: “This is a picture of me, I look beautiful.” Your child who loves you and sees you as perfect will say: “Yes, my mother IS beautiful.” Because to them, you ARE. They will carry that knowledge with them and grow to be stronger people for it, and think that being accepting of yourself is normal. It will be easier for them to be a grown women, as their mothers have taught them to be women who love themselves.