Her story, as told by Ms.S:
“Let me start by saying that one of my best friends is slim, with long, beautiful hair, and eyes that are stunning. She has done a fair amount of modeling in her younger years, and still gets compliments on her looks on a fairly regular basis. I, on the other hand, am a plus sized woman, with the shortest of hair possible. Do I compare myself to her? Rarely. She’s just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, and our difference in looks has never been an issue in our relationship.”
“The reason I start with that, is because of some of the modeling she’s done. These magnificent photos of her in nature; where she looks like a fairy. Completely one with the natural world; she clearly belongs there. They are so beautiful, and I have always been a little envious that I could never be that beautiful, or look that natural in that environment. In my minds eye, it would just look silly.”
“Being a burlesque performer, I have done photo shoots similar to boudoir shoots before, but never outdoors. When Re put out a call looking for people of all ages and sizes to participate in her project, I initially thought it was an absurd idea for someone of my size (a curvy 275lbs) and age (42) to think she would want to use me. An overweight, short, puple-and-grey haired model in nature? Ridiculous. However my best friend and husband convinced me to give it a shot; send my photo to her, what could it hurt? Either I work for her project or I don’t, no harm done.”
“I was a little shocked, not to mention nervous, when she emailed me back telling me I would be perfect for this particular idea she had. Was I actually going to look beautiful in nature?”
“I spent 3 days trying to figure out what I should be taking to wear – Re had said, “Just bring what you’re comfortable in! Surprise me!” Thank god for my hubby who had to endure several fashion shows until I settled on 4 different things from the back of my closet; things that hadn’t seen the light of day for years.”
“The day of the shoot my best friend did my make-up, and I admit, I felt a little amazing. I looked gorgeous. But I still had all my clothes on. Once I got to the studio, Re and I looked at my outfits and chose the one that she felt was best suited to her ideas. She provided me with the fluffiest, 5-star-hotel type robe that actually fit my large body (an unusual thing for me – “one size fits all” usually means “barely fits my left thigh”) and we headed out to the backyard where she has a huge Weeping Willow, leaves sweeping right to the ground.”
“While Re set up, I shed the robe and got myself situated in amongst the tree. I was nervous; thank god there were lots of leaves to cover me! We started with a few playful photos, so she could adjust her lighting, and I’m sure it was also a bit of a ploy to make me feel more comfortable. It worked. By the time we started the “real” photos about 5 min later, I could have been in my own backyard. She gave me great directions; where to put my hands, how to hold my head, facial expressions, everything. Anytime I started to feel like I was uncomfortable or out of my element, Re seemed to instinctively know how to make me feel better again. I found myself laughing often, feeling sexy and completely comfortable with my surroundings (despite the fact that I was outside in nothing but a neglige!) She helped to position me, and even strategically place leaves to cover the areas I am most sensitive about. All while being completely non-judgemental.”
“After the shoot was over, we chatted a bit about my returning to look at the photos, and I headed home, feeling very empowered.”
“Until she messaged me to arrange a time to go actually see the photos. Oh god. How awful were they going to be? I couldn’t imagine they would look good. I’m 275lbs for goodness sake and she doesn’t photoshop! My husband told me I was being silly, and so I booked a time to go see them. Again, all the nerves and insecurities drove up with me to Re’s studio, like unwanted hitchhikers.”
“Re greeted us with “I can’t wait for you to see them!”, instantly making me feel a little better. Her enthusiasm tends to be catching. We sat down at her computer, and my breath stopped. Who was that gorgeous, sexy, beautiful woman, wrapped with leaves on her computer? No way it could be me! The photos were breathtaking. I never imagined I could look like that. I can do cute, sweet, and I’ve got sass down pat, but beautiful? Soft? Elegant? Those are words I never would have used to describe myself, but staring back at me were pictures of all those things. All the things I have been envious of in friends, I was looking at, but with me as the subject. All 275lbs of me. Nothing photoshopped, nothing airbrushed; just me. My hubby turned to me and said, “See. You are beautiful.”
“I am so glad I took the chance to do this photoshoot. It was out of my comfort zone and I needed a bit of a push to do it. As a plus sized burlesque performer, I am a big advocate of loving your body and yourself as you are in the moment; not 20lbs from now, not 10 years ago, but right now, and I had lost sight of that. Spending the time with Re doing the shoot, and then seeing myself through her lens, was a fantastic reminder that we are all beautiful, no matter our size or age. My husband plans on turning one of the photos in particular in to a canvas print to hang in our house as a constant reminder of just how beautiful he sees me.”
“Thank you so much Re, for such an amazing experience.” ~ Ms. S